The Expendables

I have been subjected to Sylvester Stalone’s The Expendables twice now, and it does not get any better after multiple viewings. When asked what I thought about the movie after the first viewing, my response was, “It is exactly what you would expect it to be. It’s just another mindless action flick.” It is. I tried to focus on the heart of the film this time, that being Stallone’s character’s quest to save part of his soul by saving the woman in distress. There was not enough of that. There was just testosterone and blood.

It bothers me that R-rated films are just so immature.

Random thoughts about The Expendables:

  • Dolph Lundgren is easily the best thing about the movie, what with his looking and seeming off-kilter and strung out due to a drug addiction. Not sure if this is true to life.
  • Jet Li probably got paid big for this. He lost both of his important battles in the movie and needed help in his only win. Pathetic.
  • I was excited to see Charisma Carpenter in the movie, until I realized that her role consisted of crying and being vulnerable (due to having been beaten by her non-Jason Statham boyfriend).
  • Randy Couture vs. “Stone Cold” Steve Austin. I am sure UFC fans feel vindicated in his victory over the former pro-wrestler. Sure, it took fire and bad CGI to make it happen, but UFC > WWE or something.
  • Speaking of that fire, it was horrible. Everything in that fight sequence was in slow motion, until the fire. Austin waving his arms around was sped up. It was more comical than effective for whatever they wanted.
  • What? Steve Austin is not afraid to hit a woman? Say it is not so!
  • Too many explosions. They were compensating for something – a bad script.
  • Mickey Rourke was also too good for this movie. I enjoyed how he was the only one who had to be dramatic.
  • The fact that this movie was number one in the box office displays that there is something very wrong with our media consuming culture.

In short, I do not think I enjoyed seeing the movie.

About Gospel X

Media commentator who tries not to waste time - and often fails

Posted on August 20, 2010, in Bechdel failure, movies and tagged , . Bookmark the permalink. Leave a comment.

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