The Last Psychiatrist on American Sexuality
The Last Psychiatrist is a blog that I only wish I had written. Occasionally the posts are pretty out there. They strike me in mental exercises that the author is letting people view, nothing more. Then there is this recent post about our Miss America, Rima Fakih (notably from Michigan!), and American sexuality. Great, great observations.
When you’re by yourself and the sex scene in a rated R movie comes on, do you change the channel? "It seems wrong to watch the expression on her face change as she mounts him. I choose to turn away."
But with every passing year of marriage those scenes frustrate, you try to avoid them. Not when you’re Alone, of course, but when you’re watching with your spouse: you worry it is reminding them how inadequate you have become.
It happens also when you’re with people you’re not intimate with. Are they watching how you are watching it? If you’re too interested, will they think you’re a pervert, and if you appear bored, will they think you’re a prude? So there’s dead silence as everyone in the room pretends they’re not pretending.
The word for all of this is shame.
It’s perfectly normal to feel this way. But you chose this world, this is the one you wanted. What kind of a world is it where we want sexuality in everything, have normalized sexuality in everything, but are ashamed to be caught looking at it?
A world that prefers to be alone, of course.