Continuity: Quizno’s Torpedoes Follow-up

I actually went to Quizno’s the other day and picked up two torpedoes, thanks to a coupon I received in the mail.  The place was packed for lunch, so I refrained from harassing the staff.  It would have been fun to say, “No, rub those bacon bits on my torpedo gently.  Light touch!”

What didn’t quite dawn on me until I was posted to this blog is that torpedoes are meant to compete with Subway’s $5 foot long subs.  Quizno’s was already running a similar promotion with their arguably better quality subs, but I guess they can’t really pull off their quality at a foot long for merely $5.  Did I mention that I prefer Quizno’s?  Well, it’s now out in the open.

The torpedoes are kind of a rip off.  The thing the guy holds in the commercial is not representative of torpedoes unless he’s a slightly smaller person.  Here’s what it really is: Imagine a foot long hotdog bun lightly filled with meat, cheese, dressing, lettuce, and Bacos.  That’s it!  Actually, I think it’s thinner than a hot dog bun.  It tasted good, but it ultimately doesn’t work.  They’re not made for travel, so they split open on the car ride back and all of the ingredients kept fighting their way out even though I cut the thing in half.  The other one was eaten by my father, who didn’t complain but also didn’t have any good things to say about it.

In a month or two, both the ad and the line of sandwiches will no longer be available.

As for me: “Not doing that again.  Got burned.”

Man the Torpedoes – all up in there

The television I watch is all DVRed.  Heck, I watch DVRed television while DVRing television, so it’s rare that I see commercials without willfully watching them.  Someone else had to point in the direction of the new Quizno’s commercial, and I’m happy that happened.  I was already on board with the idea of the Torpedoes because I suspect they don’t fall apart like other subs on the market.  I just didn’t expect them to have such a grotesquely inspired ad campaign.

If I’m immediately taken aback by a commercial, then there’s something effective about it.  I’m over that now.  More amusing to me is how people say that they’re disturbed by the commercial and how it makes them not want to eat Quizno’s.  The commercial is both unexpected and humorous.  If people are so disturbed by the commercial, then they really need to get themselves in check.  I mean, the commercial potentially reveals the relationship between a man and his talking oven.

My ultimate concern is its affect on me.  No, I’m not going to look at my oven in a new way, but I fear that I may find myself sexually harassing Quizno’s employees and food.  Have you ever thought of how many things you can say regarding someone putting meat and spreading various condiments on two toasted buns?  You know what, it’s probably a good thing that people are reconsidering getting their food from Quizno’s in the near future – because I’m going to be there weekly!  Move over, Jimmy John’s.  I have better things to do.